New Dynamics: Learning Burmese, Week 12

In week 11 we reached a milestone, completing the first quarter of our Burmese language course. The following week (week 12) marked a turning point of its own as our two classes merged into one for the first time.

Unfortunately, the budgetary situation and related dearth of incoming Burmese language students meant one of our two teachers was let go. With only one remaining Burmese teacher to manage the curriculum and needs of four students, an adjustment period would be normal for anyone.

I was optimistic, bringing the perhaps naive cheer and quiet confidence I show up with to most situations. Everyone is friendly and we all try to help each out. But even on the first day of our bigger class, a few things emerged for me.

One, that merging the classes hadn’t been in the best interest of our learning from a strictly mathematical perspective. More students equals less speaking time and less individual attention from the instructor for each student. This I guess I’d already known but hadn’t considered in practical terms. But it wasn’t like we’d had a choice about doubling the class size, or hadn’t done what we could through our own channels to provide input to the decision.

Two, that based on my frequent incomprehension of what the instructor and the two students from the other class were talking about, I may have not been as on-track as I’d thought.

And three, that it was fair to allow some time for all of us to get used to the new dynamics before drawing any conclusions.

But by the end of the week, I was feeling discouraged. It’s funny how hearing a new voice say something can render it incomprehensible, even if you already know most or all of the vocabulary. When you don’t, it’s even more disconcerting.

Also disconcerting is the feeling you thought you were studying enough only to find out the instructors were progressing through the material faster with the other class. No matter how much you studied, you would have still been in the slow lane.

And to be fair, I don’t quickly master syntax and grammar without lots of repetition and exposure. This is clear when someone answers a question with a paragraph and I’m only thinking of a few-word response. How could I think more creatively to use all of these words and structures that are familiar but somehow floating out of reach?

You have to ask yourself, where’s the line between doing the best you can and actually being set up to fail in these new circumstances? Is it that you’re behind, or are other students just ahead? That’s a distinction with a difference. It’s one thing to suspect this is true, and another to have to sit in it all day.

Had we never merged our classes, I would have been blissfully unaware and could have just kept progressing at my own pace, instead of feeling like I’m now so behind I want to give up.

I hesitate to frame class as a battle to win or lose. That isn’t at all right. I don’t begrudge anyone their success; quite the opposite really. But week 12 gave me the distinct feeling that I’m not only going to fail, but before that I’m going to spend a very long period of time feeling confused, annoyed, or embarrassed on a daily basis, and that sounds unproductive. It puts a chilling effect on wanting to talk when I feel like I’ve joined someone else’s class where I don’t belong. I know this isn’t right, and I also know it’s a vicious cycle, but that’s how it feels.

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In the past, I’ve been the student who was ahead for whatever reason – because I had prior exposure to the language family, or because I had more aptitude for a particular language. And I’ve been the student who consistently didn’t get it and felt stupid.

I don’t consider myself a competitive person (unless I’m competing with me) and I’m not interested in being compared to others. I’ve always felt like language class is an individual journey we take together, with the comparison being each of us to the standard of the material on the End of Training test.

To be clear, it isn’t the responsibility of any one student to hold themselves back to make someone else more comfortable. But it also isn’t the responsibility of any one student to sacrifice their own learning and progress because another wants to plow ahead of schedule. It’s the responsibility of each student to work as hard as they can to overcome their own individual weaknesses while treating others with professional courtesy.

And it’s the responsibility of the instructor to recognize the needs and levels of each student, and manage the classroom in a way where students get equal time and as much individualized attention as possible.

The instructor also needs to actively set the pace for the class, which should be based on the curriculum versus the “bell curve” set by the fastest or slowest student. How to do this while not boring anyone or leaving anyone behind and being sensitive to students’ questions and blue-screen learning moments is indeed challenging, I imagine.

In week 12 I also received more detailed feedback on my performance during week nine’s progress evaluation. It helped me understand I was right on track with my reading, but on the lower end of on-track with my speaking.

This input, along with everything else that’s happened since, encourages me to keep trying to see if I could learn faster from my new environment. I already study for an hour or two each night, and arrive in the morning about two hours before class starts to study and do homework. It’s hard to imagine dedicating more time to Burmese, but the question remains whether what I do with my time will be enough from my side.