Last month, my husband V and I took a few days off and connected them to a weekend, heading to a five-day beach house rental on North Carolina’s Carolina Beach and kicking off the first of many fun summer plans. I (inadvertently) got a scorching sunburn, fell asleep each humid night hearing the waves of the Atlantic Ocean crash into the sandy shore, saw a record two dozen pelicans at once, ate lots of good food, and even saw my favorite band. The weather was a little stormier than I’d expected, but we had about a day and a half of good beach time without a chilly wind. And the best thing: downtime with V where we didn’t have to think about work.
It took us around six hours to get from our house to the beach, and we stopped at Cracker Barrel for some southern eatin’ along the way. Someone had rear-ended V as he’d driven our 4Runner to work several weeks prior; the other driver’s insurance company had been so slow to approve body shop repairs we still had the new Nissan Rogue we’d been loaned. So we drove the Nissan to save wear and tear on my aging Volkswagen, which has crossed the United States six times in the last 11 months.
I was hoping one of my best friends J who lives not far away in Fayetteville, North Carolina could stop by and enjoy some sun and wine with me, but some family obligations on her side prevented it. Our 24-year old stepdaughter A, who also lives in North Carolina, planned to swing by for a few days, but car trouble halted her leaving town. That made me particularly bummed. We had both been really looking forward to catching up with her and giving her a place to chill out after she’d just recently concluded her busy master’s program.
So it was just V and I, enjoying some peace and quiet. It would have certainly been more fun and lively with the company of J and A, but I took their inability to make it to us as a sign they were being protected from something bad and I tried to make peace with it.
The beach house was a corporate-managed rental, not my favorite type of AirBnB. I always feel like you receive more personalized attention and service when real-people owners who have lived in the house and actually care about it are in charge of the listing. However, the ocean views and three-minute walk to the shore more than made up for the dirty-ish floors, dust, dishes hastily hand-washed and shoved in cabinets, and sheets on inside-out. It was three stories and had more than enough space for us.
The house was also very walkable to restaurants and shops, which came in handy upon arrival when I realized I’d forgotten my flip-flops by the door (V bested me by astonishingly forgetting his flip-flops, swim trunks, and sunglasses!) and for the times we didn’t feel like cooking. There was a cool grill and beach bar up on a pier just a 10-minute walk away, and we went there more than once. A couple evenings I also enjoyed feeling the sea breeze as I lazed on the couch and munched on Thai food and watched new episodes of Dateline.
One of the coolest things about being at Carolina Beach was the insane amount of pelicans. It wasn’t unusual to see at least a small handful of them every few minutes, whether you were on balcony or swimming in the ocean. However, one day I actually counted over 25 flying in formation, ridge-soaring the lift the apartments and houses lining the dunes created.
We also enjoyed walking along the damp sand and watching seagulls pester beachgoers for chips and piping plovers pecking for insects. As the water receded, they ventured further out, digging relentlessly with their beaks. As the tide returned, they motored away on their little spindly legs as if on wheels, just in the nick of time before incoming water pummeled them.
The last night we were there, we wrapped up the vacation by seeing my favorite band Incubus – the impetus for this particular beach trip. The show, as always, was wonderful – easy parking down by the Wilmington riverfront, good vibes in the crowd, and not even a line to get in since we arrived so early. We enjoyed some drinks on the VIP rooftop before heading down to our seats. I even got gifted some new merch courtesy of V. It’s always amazing to see them perform live. I have been lucky enough to do so a handful of times, including in Sacramento in 2000 and Sydney in 2018. That always simultaneously brings me back to a time and place in my youth while still resonating with the person I am today.
They played a lot of songs I like and even one from my favorite album S.C.I.E.N.C.E., which they don’t always do. Fortunately they didn’t play any of the songs that remind me most of my ex and longtime friend T who died by suicide in 2021, including the song from the Make Yourself album that we used to say was our song when we were together. Certain songs are very painful to hear and although I love those songs, I prefer to listen to them by myself.
Last summer they played one of those songs when I saw them in Virginia and my grief at that time was so new, it felt unbelievably painful to be surrounded by people singing and drinking and having a good time, who had no idea the weight that dropped on me as soon as I heard the first melody. Music somehow is a gift from the artists who created it. But once it’s out there, each individual person associates their own memories and smells and feelings and thoughts with the song in a way that can only be theirs. It may be the artists’ baby, but it doesn’t belong to them anymore. It belongs to the fans, and each unique fan, for however they interpret it and for whatever it means to them. It becomes something everyone can hear yet something almost tangible only you can understand. And it means more to me than I can say to have those good memories to hold onto now.
I would definitely return to Carolina Beach and I hope we get the chance again. There are so many other restaurants to try and I’d like to swim more when it isn’t so windy.
As we drove back home, my mind started to turn back to work matters. Although I was on leave, in the car we tuned into a consular and Special Incentive Post bidding webinar for the short summer bid cycle and listened with great interest; SIP bids are due at the end of this week and mine are now submitted. I’m hoping for good news on a handshake later this summer… but we’ll see.
Collecting Postcards 
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